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What is negative
talk? It is the talk we do that puts down ourselves, others, or a
situation; it is our grumbling
and complaining about each other or
events that take place in our lives.
We have examples of such talk throughout the scriptures. The
example I like the most is in Numbers 13:1-14:45. There is so
much that we can learn from the Israelite people, if we will only
listen. The Lord had promised the people to take them to a land
of milk and honey. He led them through the desert and when
they were ready to take their promised land, God had Moses send out a
leader from each tribe to explore the land (Numbers 13:1-3). The
men were obedient and explored the land for forty days (13:25).
When they returned Moses asked them to tell about the land
(13:26-31) Most of the men reported about the powerful people and
the fortified cities. They made it sound so difficult that they
got to the point that they were exaggerating (making up) stories about
the land (13:32-33).
Now let’s look at what has just happened. The men give a report
in verses 26-31. Most likely an honest report. The majority
decide that it’s not possible to do. Caleb spoke up and said they
should take the land--he believed they could do it. But in verses
32-33 the men who gave the bad report change their story. They
make it even worse. They get the people in such a frenzy that
they start grumbling and crying (14:1-4). Why did the men change
their story to sound worse than it was? They were afraid.
Why were they afraid?--as they were talking about it they made
themselves more afraid. The more they talked with the others, the
worse it got. The same thing happened with the people. They
heard the exaggerated reports and reacted strongly to them. So
strongly that they acted as if God had not been caring for them and,
thus, wanted to go back to Egypt.
Two men of integrity that didn’t get into the negative talking frenzy
stood up for the truth
and told the people not to be afraid and to
trust God (Num. 14:5-9). But the people had worked themselves up
so much by TALKING that they
started talking about stoning Caleb and Joshua (14:10). Now how
ridiculous is that. The only two men, of the leaders sent,
speaking reasonably and they want to get rid of them. See how
stupid this looks. The men were speaking the truth, they were not
trying to rouse the emotions of the people and the people rejected
them. Why?--Because the people had talked so negatively that they
believed their own lies. Before we judge these people too harshly
we better take a look at ourselves. How many times do we do the
same things with our thoughts
or our words?
God’s response to the people’s grumbling is very telling. God
says in Numbers 14:11 “How long will these people treat me with
contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me in spite of
all the miraculous signs I have performed among them? “
Wow! God could say the same thing to us. Every one of us
can tell of some miraculous thing that God has done. Not trusting
in Him is treating God with contempt. We probably have never
looked at it this way before. God points out how their grumbling
and complaining--their negative talk--has led them to treat God with
contempt. This is worth looking
at very closely. There was so much power in their negative talk
that they began treating God with contempt. None of us
desire to treat God with contempt, but through our talking
(complaining) we can get to the point where we do this.
In Numbers 14:20-23 God points out that he forgives the people for
their actions but that he still will punish them. God points out
how they disobeyed
and tested Him 10 times. Wow! If we look back we will be
able to see those ten times.
1. Exodus 4:29-31--Signs first shown to the
Israelites.
Exodus 5:21--The
foremen of Israel complain about Moses to Moses.
Exodus 6:9--The people
of Israel would not listen to what God
said to them through Moses.
Exodus
12:5,27-28--Israelites obey.
2. Exodus 14:10-12--People whine in fear of
the Egyptians coming after them.
Exodus 14:21-31--God
shows miracles again--parts the sea and the people trust God again.
3. Exodus 15:22-24--People grumble about no
water after going three days without running into water.
Exodus 15:25--God
provides water.
Exodus
15:27--Israelites come to a place to camp with an abundance of water.
NOTE--if they had waited just a little
while longer they would have had water. How often are we the same
way?
4. Exodus 16:2-3--People grumble because
they’re hungry.
Exodus 16:11-19--The
Lord provides food.
Exodus 16:20 and Exodus
20:27--People test God.
5. Exodus 17:1-3--People grumble and test the
Lord about water once again.
Exodus 17:5-7--God provides
water out of a rock.
6. Exodus 32:1-6--People ask Aaron to make
them a “god.” Aaron makes a golden calf.
Exodus 24:3--People accept
God’s commands and say they will obey them.
7. Numbers 11:1--The people complain about
their hardships. God responds with fire--you can tell God’s
patience is wearing thin.
8. Numbers 11:4-6--People complain about only
having manna to eat. They want meat again.
Numbers 11:10--God becomes
exceedingly angry and Moses is troubled.
Numbers 11:18-20--the Lord
responds with telling them He’ll give them meat until they’re sick of
it.
Numbers 11:31-34--the
Lord’s anger burns and He strikes them with a severe plague.
9. Numbers 12:1-2--Miriam and Aaron talk about
Moses in a grumbling (gossipy)
manner.
Numbers 12:4-15--God
responds.
10. Numbers 13:1--People are told the Lord is
giving them the land He promised them, their leaders are to explore
it.
(Even after all of
the times of testing and mistrust of God, God is still willing to
fulfill His promise.)
Numbers 13:26-31--the
report is given by the explorers.
Numbers
13:32-14:4--the people complain in fear once again.
Numbers 14:28--God
says He will do the very things they spoke of (feared would happen), as
a result of their out and out defiance.
As a result of their treating God with contempt they were not allowed
to go into the Promised Land, they had to continue to wander the desert
until all of the men who had seen God’s miraculous signs in Egypt were
dead--all except the two men who stood up for the truth and trusted
God. (Num. 14:23-25)
The real telling of the power of our negative talk is seen in Num
14:27-28. God says that he has heard the complaints and grumbling
of the Israelites and He will do to
them the very things he has heard them say. WOW! The
very fears that they conjured up have come true. Not
because they were supposed to come true, but because they chose to not
trust God. In a sense they gave power to the things they said and
God granted it. This is something we can really learn from.
Our negative talk can have great power. We can complain about
something so long that it actually takes place. Were we right in
complaining all along--NO!
If the Israelites hadn’t complained none of their grumbling would have
come true. The same is true for us--if we don’t complain and
grumble about a situation we might be amazed at the end result.
The one thing we can be sure of--if we grumble and complain and talk
negatively about the situation the negative stuff will
happen. Not because God makes it happen--God didn’t make
the Israelites treat Him with contempt, they chose to do it themselves,
they brought their heartache on themselves. We do the same thing.
But God tells us in Colossians 4:6--”Let your conversation be always
full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer
everyone.”
This isn’t telling us to only say “nice” things. It says to be
full of grace, seasoned with salt. The seasoned with salt means
to have it mean something. It needs to be worth hearing. We
can speak just to speak and have it be nice, but if it doesn’t say
something worth listening to then we shouldn’t be speaking it.
It’s just fluff. Now, how many of us can say that everything we
say is seasoned with salt? None of us can, but it is what we are
told our conversation should be. It is something to work
on. Why? Because there is power in our words.
How many times do we talk about a situation instead of doing something
about it. Sometimes we talk about it to the point that we get
fearful of our situation. Once we are fearful we do not
act. We talk ourselves out of doing what we should be
doing. There are things that happen in our lives that we must
deal with. But talking about it often leads to a misunderstanding
of the real situation. (Talking about it can be in our heads as
well.) A good example to think about is how we deal with a
problem teenager. I know, I had one. You see, there aren’t
too many parents that don’t have a problem teenager. They don’t
have to be doing drugs and drinking to be a problem. When
teenagers get rebellious--they are a problem. The struggle for us
parents is how to deal with them. Unfortunately, the struggle at
home can get so great that we feel we need an outlet--we need to talk
about it. But 90% of the time when we talk about it we are
complaining and whining about the child and not doing anything
constructive to change the situation. Colossians 4:6 says to let
our conversation be full of grace--seasoned with salt. When we
are complaining about a situation, we are not being full of
grace--seasoned with salt. We are simply complaining. Worse
than that, we are adding to our own problem by talking negatively about
it. We have just now gotten ourselves into a frenzy about what a
rotten kid we have. We also have spoken
enough negative words that we start believing our kid really is just
like what we said. He may be, but it is our job to raise the
child in God’s ways, and God’s way is not to grumble and complain about
a problem--His way is to deal with it. That means praying,
disciplining, facing the kid--not hiding from him, punishing--doing it
all because we love him, not because we are angry and hurt.
This is just one example of how we complain and get ourselves into
trouble. Another is when we get a bill for something that is not
ours. Sometimes it is a very simple fix, other times it takes
some work to get it corrected. But the point is that there is
something that can be done. Of course, the first thing is to pray
and to seek God’s guidance in our conversations and actions for
this situation. Then we need to do the things we know to
do. Call the people or write them with the denial of owing the
money. Yet we can think about it or talk about it so much that we
even get afraid to do that. We let fear take over and don’t do
the very simple things to do. If we can’t do the simple things,
what are we going to do when the real heat comes. You see, life
has many things that happen. Not all of them good. But it
is up to us to persevere--press on--through the difficulties so that we
can claim the prize. No one has ever said life will be easy, but
it doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it. Our own talking and
thinking about situations (not with talk full of grace, seasoned with
salt) can create a much bigger problem than actually exists.
Learn from the Israelites. It took 10 times over 3 years of
grumbling for the people to make God’s anger burn--how many times do we
grumble? Could we be facing God’s punishment now--without
realizing it?
Our negative talk not only has an impact on the people around us and
that particular situation--it can add up to the point that we actually
show a contempt for God. That is not anything any of us want to
do. The only way we can be sure of not doing it is to adjust our
thinking and talking--trusting in God even when the situation seems
hopeless.
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